7 Things to Do if you Think your Partner is Cheating: Advice from a Private Investigator

If you’re here, you probably have that sinking feeling that your partner might be cheating on you, which is one of the most crushing and difficult experiences to deal with in any relationship.

Whether this is the first time you’ve suspected your partner of cheating or a pattern of behaviour has been going on for some time, you no doubt have a million questions on your mind – like how you can know for sure, who the other person is, and what to do next. Maybe you’re even wondering how to confront a cheating spouse.

As experienced private investigators, we’ve helped many individuals over the years confirm or deal with suspicions of cheating. While it’s not always the case, we often find that gut feelings and instincts tend to point to the truth.

In this blog, we’ll go through seven things you can do if you think your partner is cheating, and why seeking professional assistance from infidelity investigators can bring both clarity and peace of mind.

7 Things to Do if You Suspect Your Partner is Cheating

1. Look for Red Flags

Whether or not your partner is cheating on you, the fact that you’re even suspicious of them is a huge red flag. It indicates that you feel insecure around them, and perhaps you’ve noticed a change in their behaviour, or that their words and actions aren’t quite adding up.

Here are a few common red flags that could point to (but not necessarily prove) infidelity:

• They’re secretive about their phone, laptop, or online activity
• They frequently have last-minute plans or unexplained absences
• Their level of affection changes drastically (either more distant or overly affectionate)
• You notice inconsistencies in their stories or catch them in small lies

2. Protect Your Emotional Well-being

With suspicions of cheating come plenty of emotions – heartbreak, rage, jealousy, anxiety, betrayal, just to name a few. It’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed, but your emotional well-being needs to come first.

Try to take care of yourself by setting healthy boundaries, leaning on trusted friends or a therapist for support, and avoiding destructive behaviours like constant checking, accusations, or retaliatory actions. Remember: protecting your peace of mind is just as important as uncovering the truth.

3. Trust Your Instincts, But Be Careful Not to Jump to Conclusions

While gut instincts are usually there for a reason, try to avoid making rushed decisions. Perhaps you’ve noticed a few of the red flags above, but you still don’t have any solid evidence to prove they’re actually cheating.

As private investigators, we believe it’s important to gather evidence before you make a decision or react. There may be other reasons that explain their behaviours, or perhaps there’s something on their mind which might be making them seem distant. You truly never know until you find proof.

4. Talk to Someone You Trust

It’s hard to experience cheating and the feelings of betrayal it brings alone. While private investigators can be a great help when gathering evidence and legal support (should you need it), most people find it helpful to speak to someone they trust about their feelings.

Whether a close friend, family member, or even a therapist, speaking to someone you trust is generally a good way to take things off your mind and get support from people who want the best for you.

The main thing to consider is whether or not this person is close to your spouse. If they are good friends or directly related, it might be better to speak to someone who you know isn’t going to repeat your words to your partner. Also, if you have concerns that your partner has bugged your phone or another digital device, don’t discuss anything while you are near the device.

5. Consider Hiring a Private Investigator to Find the Truth

If you have some suspicions about a cheating spouse but haven’t seen any concrete evidence, a private infidelity investigator can help you find the truth in legal and ethical ways. For example, they can use lawful investigative techniques such as background checks, public-place observations, interviews with witnesses, or digital forensics carried out with consent or by court order to help establish whether your suspicions are founded.

It’s important to note that you shouldn’t undertake these activities by yourself. They require professional expertise and must be done with legal foresight. Looking through your partner’s phone, computer or online accounts or following them can, in certain circumstances, create legal problems for you and could harm future legal cases (in the event of divorce, dividing shared assets, or even child custody cases).

6. Decide Your Next Step

Once you have concrete evidence – before you think about how to confront a cheating spouse – take some time to think about how you want to move forward.

Infidelity doesn’t always mean the end of a relationship, but it does make difficult decisions necessary. Consider your trust in that person, whether or not you’re willing to work through the pain, and if you believe the foundation of your relationship can be rebuilt.

If the trust is broken and you can’t see yourself continuing with them, your next step might be thinking about divorce or separation. While these decisions are never easy, the most important thing is to think about what’s right for you. Before making a decision, you should discuss your circumstances with a lawyer and a private investigator/security expert, so you’re prepared for all eventualities.

7. Learn How to Confront a Cheating Spouse

When confronting a cheating spouse, every situation is unique, and you can never guarantee exactly how your partner will respond.

In the heat of emotion, it can be tempting to confront a cheating partner quickly and angrily. However, without solid evidence, they could gaslight you into believing you’re jealous or insecure. If they’ve already been very secretive with you, making accusations could lead to further secrecy or a breach of trust.

For these reasons, we always recommend gaining real evidence first, deciding how you’d like to move forward, and then approaching the conversation as calmly as possible. If you do have solid evidence and you want to continue the relationship, you might find that therapy is needed to move forward as a couple. Alternatively, you might (mutually or individually) agree that separation is best. If you have any concerns for your safety, these should be discussed with a security expert.

Want to Learn The Truth Before Confronting a Cheating Spouse?

Confronting a cheating spouse is never easy, but we believe the best way to approach it is with solid evidence. Without it, any claims, excuses or denials your partner makes could still leave you spiralling in doubt about the truth.

That’s why we recommend speaking to a professional infidelity investigator who can uncover the truth discreetly and legally. Our team knows the signs to look for, the tools to use, and the best way to confirm your suspicions without putting you at risk.

If you’re ready to stop second-guessing and finally get the answers you deserve, reach out to us for private investigations in Sydney. We’ll help you gain clarity, protect your emotional well-being, and take back control of your situation.