Why would someone want to catch a cheating partner? Well, usually it’s for peace of mind because of ongoing emotional concerns about the behaviour of a loved one. Suspicions that somebody is cheating are often proven to be accurate however a loved one will rarely admit to infidelity so the only way to know for sure is to gather indisputable evidence. Even if you don’t require definitive proof yourself, you might decide you want to show people who the guilty party was once the relationship has ended – sometimes a malicious ex-partner will deceive family members or friends and claim that you were the one at fault. Proof of infidelity might also be necessary for religious reasons because some religions actually require you to show proof of cheating by the other person to facilitate a divorce. In Australia, evidence of infidelity is generally not required for court purposes, but it can be helpful to identify the other person. If that person ends up entering into a ongoing relationship with your ex-partner, that could affect financial or custody issues.

When it comes to cheating partner investigations, success is largely dependent on strategy. To ensure that you’re prepared for the best possible outcome when you engage a private eye, here are 7 tips on how to catch a cheating partner from a private investigator:

1.      React logically, not emotionally

One of the first hurdles most people face in an infidelity situation is an abrupt emotional reaction. If someone discovers that a partner is cheating or forms a strong suspicion in that regard, an overwhelming emotional response can lead to poor decision-making. A victim can lash out and accuse/confront their partner or may even try investigating the truth themselves. These are strategic errors because if your partner knows that you suspect them of infidelity, they will be wary about meeting up with someone or being monitored. The last thing you want to do is let a cheater know that you know. Ideally, they should feel natural to go about their normal business, and if this involves meeting someone, then it will be much easier to catch them out.

2.      Video evidence is the best evidence

As any experienced investigator will tell you, the only form of evidence that ever really answers any questions in infidelity cases is video evidence. Discreet covert video footage that shows some level of intimacy or affection between your partner and another person is what an investigator seeks to obtain– whether it be holding hands in the street, cuddling at the beach, seeing a movie together or perhaps going back to one another’s place of residence. The reason that this type of evidence is bulletproof is because it can’t be denied. Intercepted messages or emails or GPS locations can always be explained away, but there’s no disputing objective independent video evidence obtained by an investigator. Some people believe conducting surveillance is immoral however Jurisprudence 101 teaches us that anything that is completely unregulated will ultimately be taken advantage of (see the Tragedy of the Commons) and affections of the heart are no different.

3.      Don’t use spyware

When people take matters into their own hands, a common mistake they make is using spyware to monitor the activities of their partner. The use of things like keystroke loggers, GPS tracking devices and phone spyware programs are illegal in almost all Australian jurisdictions. Not only would you probably blow your chance of getting the truth by using such devices/programs, but you also risk going to prison.

4.      Go with your gut – chances are it’s correct

In the majority of cases where there is a suspicion of impropriety, the victim’s intuition is proven to be accurate and evidence of cheating is uncovered once an investigation is conducted. Sometimes, instead of infidelity a partner might be engaging in something else destructive like gambling or an addiction. We once followed an older husband who went out each night for an hour or so for unexplained reasons. His family feared the worst however a period of surveillance revealed he was not cheating – he was a compulsive eater and would devour litre tubs of ice cream alone in a parking lot! It’s always better to know the truth, however uncomfortable or painful it might be at the time.

5.      Be discreet

When getting in touch and planning an investigation with a private eye, it’s essential that all communication between you and the investigator remains discreet. If you’re going to get in contact, make sure that you do it from a safe phone line or an email account that your partner isn’t going to see or monitor. People often use the email address or phone number of a friend or relative when they get in contact with us which allows them a certain level of security. Work accounts are a viable option as well – whatever option works best for you is fine, provided that discretion is your number one priority (as it is to us). Without confidentiality, a successful cheating partner investigation is nearly impossible.

6.      Get some space between you and your partner

One of the best times to conduct an infidelity investigation is when there is some geographic separation between you and your partner. Some great opportunities may include when you or your partner is visiting family, away at a work function or on a holiday. This is because these are times where he or she is more  relaxed and more likely to get up to something. When a client is at a loss as to when to conduct a cheating partner investigation, situations involving separation are what we like to target. It’s sometimes possible for a client to manufacture a situation of that type. It’s possible to get evidence that the guilty partner is being dishonest in over 80% of cases we take on in this area, and quite often that dishonesty is in the form of evidence of affection or intimacy with another person.

7.      Never waste a strategic advantage

So, what do you do once you have the evidence you’re looking for? Should you take it and confront your partner with it? If your partner is unaware that you definitely know about their infidelity, it might be wise to go and speak to a family lawyer before confronting them. This is because there could be considerations like child custody or a family settlement where you split up assets to consider down the road, and you might want to make decisions about those things before your partner knows that you know he or she is being unfaithful. You’ve got the advantage at that stage and, as investigators know, it’s best not to waste a strategic advantage.