If you are involved in a marriage or de facto relationship, there may be several important issues you may need to resolve when separating. These can include arranging a division of the assets of the relationship, making arrangements for the care and custody of your children, moving house, healing emotionally and resolving other problems, such as domestic violence, stalking or hacking.
What many people fail to understand when separating from a partner or spouse is that taking sensible and strategic action early on can dramatically improve the outcome of the experience, especially if there is any conflict or dispute between the parties. If you are certain your partner will be supportive and will act in good faith, then you can disregard the advice here but, if not, read on.
If you have formed the opinion that you will probably or definitely be separating from your partner at some point, here are 5 things we believe you should consider. In providing this advice, we take into account our 40 years of experience dealing with investigations into family law, custody, assets and stalking.
1. Don’t Act Emotionally
Lashing out at your partner or taking sudden, dramatic action can result in a number of problems down the road. If you have made the decision that you may need to separate, take the time to consider the information below and plan out your intended course of action before letting anyone know about your intentions. We understand that it is hard to keep your emotions under control at a challenging time in your personal life but it is likely to be worth the effort. Of course, if you are subject to violence or threats by your partner, you should immediately contact police, endeavouring to ensure you do so discreetly.
2. Make Sure You Communications Are Secure
As you disentangle yourself from a relationship, it’s important that your communications are secure. If there is any concern that your partner has compromised your phone, computer or online accounts then you should start by getting a new mobile device. Don’t connect it to Wi-fi, don’t use Bluetooth, don’t allow anyone physical access to the device and set up new accounts (like email accounts) that you can use safely on the device. Another alternative is to use a close friend or relative’s device for any sensitive communications, or set up a secure email address that you log in and out of at a public library. Keep any possibly-compromised device away from you when having any sensitive conversations as it can potentially be used as a listening device.
If you want to investigate whether your phone, computer or emails are compromised, please contact a digital forensic expert. Note that it is also possible that your home and/or vehicle are compromised with listening devices – a bugs sweep technician can look into this. Vehicles can also be compromised by GPS devices. Regardless of how compromise has occurred, it may be possible to identify the culprit.
3. Contact People Who Can Help
Whether you need the help of family lawyers, investigators, police, counsellors or others, now that you have a safe device and a safe way to communicate, you can email or call for assistance. It’s best to call or email rather than to visit in the first instance. Getting expert advice from competent people who can help you plan how to separate whilst taking into account your circumstances is crucial. For example, a lawyer can tell you what rights you have with respect to assets and custody of children. An investigator can help you get evidence that might assist you to protect your rights after the separation. A security expert can give you security advice if you have any concerns about retribution. It’s best to have all this advice and a clear plan in place to protect your future before taking action.
4. Document Evidence
Once you’re clear about your plan, provided it is safe to do so, you may need to document evidence relating to the relationship. The best time to document evidence is often before the separation takes place. For example, if it is possible that your partner will hide assets or income or engage in some kind of illegal or improper conduct, then it’s usually easiest to prove this is at the time you become aware of it. If you wait until later, the chance may be lost. A private investigator can advise you how to discreetly and safely document evidence and can help you document things you are unable to yourself.
5. Consider Loose Ends
Consider the security of your personal property, your valuable items, your pets, etc. If your utilities, vehicles and other accounts, such as bank accounts, are registered in both names, you will need to deal with how these are separated. Ensure your mail and ID documents are secure – these can be used for the purposes of identifying fraud by a vengeful ex-partner. If any of your digital accounts or devices have been compromised, keep in mind that your partner may have come across sensitive information about you that may be used against you.
Most separations do not involve malicious behaviour on the part of one partner against another however, when they do, the culprit can create great hardship for the innocent party. Following the directions above and getting tailored advice from experts about handling difficult separations can make all the difference.
Once you are comfortable it is safe to do so, contact Lyonswood Investigations to address your concerns.
